It has been quite a ride for me the last seven weeks adjusting to this new life. Everything from mountaintop highs to meltdowns. What used to be small inconveniences about our lifestyle in HK, have become major annoyances now with two little ones. I think about how ridiculously easy everything used to be. For example, the bank (dun, dun, dun, dunnnn). After carrying a stroller laden with a two year old up a flight of stairs to the bank, while wearying Annette in the bjorn, I’m greeted with a 40 minute line. Entertained with food and objects from my purse Josiah did great till the last 5 minutes when he’d had enough and began screaming “NO” and throwing things off the stroller, including Annette’s pacifier. She then woke up screaming, starving, with no pacifier to calm her. All eyes in the bank were on the bleary eyed, unshowered gwailo watching to see if I would keep my cool. By the time it was my turn in line the kids were wailing so loud I couldn’t even complete the transactions I needed to. Too far to walk home I bought myself some time and Josiah a Mc Donalds ice-cream so I could nurse Annette before walking home defeated and emotional.
Other moments seem too beautiful for words, indeed sacred. Like cuddling with Annette during the first good thunder storm of the season or exploring the magic of Richard Scary books with Josiah. Or watching Annette’s first open mouth, toothless smile light up her whole face, and seeing the determination in Josiah’s eyes as he works to pedal his new red tricycle. A woman at church, who I don’t even know, came up to me to share that God told her that just as I have expanded my heart to make room for my children, so God has expanded His heart for me. How encouraging as I fumble along as a mother to think of God loving me with a Father’s love. Every sacrifice I make of my time, energy, sleep, patience, personal hygiene, pales in comparison to the intense sacrifice and love that my Father has for me. I could keep rambling on and on because I am learning so much, like to see my children as a gift not a burden. . . and to let go of somethings, for starters the banking, Jason can now do that (:
4 comments:
I hear you! It is amazing to me that some of it is having two young children, but a lot of it is living in Hong Kong! Who knew how hard it would be to do things here with two children! It still amazes me the things I was able to do when we lived in Thailand that are just so hard to do here! It's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one that has had to pass things off to my husband too! :) But thank you also to remind me to remember what blessings my two bundles of energy are! I thought I had been living life at a slowed down pace, but I have had to slow it down even more in order to enjoy my girls! Thank you for the encouragement and hang in there!
My sweet cousin...I love you and the musings of your heart, and can't wait until the next time we can sit and chat. It may be in 10 years when the little ones are all big enough to run around outside, but still...I'm excited. I love you!
It's hard to admit when things are hard, isn't it?
Every phase of motherhood will bring it's challenges...but mostly, the joys outnumber the tears....
Good for you for having perspective...and courage to post it!
You are doing a wonderful job...I don't think I could do it in a "foreign" place (and even Ohio is foreign to me!)
Lots of Love!
You are doing amazing, especially with getting around in a busy city with no car,etc. with a toddler and an infant. My hat is off to you. A second child is definitely more than double the work and for sure more than double the love :).
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