True Confessions of a Praiseaholic

As a stay- at- home mom I feel that much of the repetitive (often unglamourous) work that I do goes unnoticed. Josiah has yet to thank me for wiping down his high chair (for the fifth time today) and I didn't get an award for changing my 1,000th diaper. Some days due to weather, sickness or nap schedules I am indoors almost all day. I struggle feeling that the patience, energy and sacrifice I am expending is unnoticed, even unvalued, by the world 35 floors down bellow. I find myself tempted to look to other sources of significance and recognition, longing for the accolades I received while teaching.

Lately the Lord has been showing me that praise is an idol in my life. That when I become focused on making sure that I am appreciated and noticed, I rob God of the glory he deserves.

I have been inspired by two truly humble people who worked quietly for God's glory; my own Mom and the priest/ author Henry Nouwen. These very capable, gifted people both worked with the mentally and physically handicapped. For over a decade my mother cared for Erica, our handicapped foster child, sacrificing her own desires for Erica's comfort. Often friends and family didn't understand her decision, or see the value in what she was doing. Mom would wake up at all hours of the night, rehabilitate Erica from surgery after surgery, and deny herself freedom for the well being of Erica (this is after raising her own four kids, and while teaching full time!)

Henry Nouwen went from a thriving career as a professor at Harvard to a group home for the handicapped. He writes:
"This experience was and, in many ways, is still the most important experience of my life, because it forced me to rediscover my true identity. These broken, wounded, and completely unpretentious people forced me to let go of my relevant self- the self that can do things, show things, prove things, build things- and forced me to reclaim that unadorned self in which I am completely vulnerable, open to receive and give love regardless of accomplishments."

Ultimately the best inspiration of a servant- leader is Jesus
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross."

So, this is my journey, learning one day at a time to die to myself and live for Him (I'm sure just one of many lessons my children will teach me!)