It has been quite a ride for me the last seven weeks adjusting to this new life. Everything from mountaintop highs to meltdowns. What used to be small inconveniences about our lifestyle in HK, have become major annoyances now with two little ones. I think about how ridiculously easy everything used to be. For example, the bank (dun, dun, dun, dunnnn). After carrying a stroller laden with a two year old up a flight of stairs to the bank, while wearying Annette in the bjorn, I’m greeted with a 40 minute line. Entertained with food and objects from my purse Josiah did great till the last 5 minutes when he’d had enough and began screaming “NO” and throwing things off the stroller, including Annette’s pacifier. She then woke up screaming, starving, with no pacifier to calm her. All eyes in the bank were on the bleary eyed, unshowered gwailo watching to see if I would keep my cool. By the time it was my turn in line the kids were wailing so loud I couldn’t even complete the transactions I needed to. Too far to walk home I bought myself some time and Josiah a Mc Donalds ice-cream so I could nurse Annette before walking home defeated and emotional.
Other moments seem too beautiful for words, indeed sacred. Like cuddling with Annette during the first good thunder storm of the season or exploring the magic of Richard Scary books with Josiah. Or watching Annette’s first open mouth, toothless smile light up her whole face, and seeing the determination in Josiah’s eyes as he works to pedal his new red tricycle. A woman at church, who I don’t even know, came up to me to share that God told her that
just as I have expanded my heart to make room for my children, so God has expanded His heart for me. How encouraging as I fumble along as a mother to think of God loving me with a Father’s love. Every sacrifice I make of my time, energy, sleep, patience, personal hygiene, pales in comparison to the intense sacrifice and love that my Father has for me. I could keep rambling on and on because I am learning so much, like to see my children as a gift not a burden. . . and to let go of somethings, for starters the banking, Jason can now do that (: