Rain

It has been raining here for three weeks. . . straight. That means we have been living in a sunless cloud for almost a month. At first I didn't mind after so much heat and humidity. I made all my favorite soups, decorated for Christmas, got out the sweaters. . . but now I have had enough. California is such a hard act to follow weather- wise. I think a childhood of blue skies hard- wired me for sun.

But the rain seems to only be an external picture of weeping in our hearts. This week our precious niece, Joanie Elizabeth, went to be with Jesus. She was only about 5 weeks older than the baby I am now carrying. We knew she was sick, but didn't think the end would come so soon. Our whole family has been hurting for Jason's (twin) brother and his wife in this valley.  Josiah cried for his cousin Joanie and drew this picture of her in heaven with Jesus.

In my melancholy mood I am trying to stay positive- I've learned that my kids pick up on my attitude- and talk about how wonderful the rain is ("isn't this fun to walk to the station (again) in the rain kids?") because it makes everything grow. One joy in the last few weeks has been watching this little garden out my kitchen window. Our landlord hand planted thousands of bulbs to grow flowers for Chinese New Year. I can literally see them grow in front of my eyes. In two weeks they went from dirt to a foot tall. 

I don't have any answers or deep revelations. I feel like my heart is in a fog like the rest of the city. But, it does encourage me to see life spring forth from the rain. Until the sun comes out again all I can do is worship  God, our God who turns ashes to beauty.